Totally Accurate Battle Simulator Review: Precision in Chaos
Marching into the absurdly hilarious physics of tactical simulations.
last updated Nov 30, 2023
If laughter is the best medicine, then this game is the wobbling pharmacy – and it is open for business!
Gameplay: A Chaotic Dance of Strategy and Slapstick
Diving headfirst into 'Totally Accurate Battle Simulator', one might find themselves the unexpected conductor of an orchestra where the instruments are derpy, wobbling warriors with a penchant for ridiculous battles. The heart of the game lies in its strategy - devising battle plans and choosing the right units to send into the fray. But wait, there's more! With the addition of custom towers (which are, by the way, hilariously overpowered) and a pinch of god-like omnipotence, players will realize that they can also be a 'complet moron' and just enjoy the chaos. The multiplayer component offers hours of amusement, where your uncanny tactical savvy (or lack thereof) can be put to the test against your equally goofy friends.
Wobbling Tunes and Battle Cries
Audio in gaming is like the cheese on a pizza – without it, you’re just left with warm bread and tomato sauce. Thankfully, 'Totally Accurate Battle Simulator' delivers a smorgasbord of comical sound effects that complement the absurdity on-screen. Sure, it might not give you an eargasm, but the soundscape of wacky battle cries and the physics-based impacts of wobbler-on-wobbler action ensures that your auditory senses are in for a treat. As for the music? It's the cherry on top, with playful tunes that underscore the whimsical mayhem unfolding across the battlefields.
A Masterpiece of Unpolished Visual Charm
One might think they need a supercomputer to run a game detailed enough to simulate historical warfare. Fear not, dear reader, for this gem can practically run on a potato – which is quite fitting given the endearing potato-esque warriors it showcases. Graphics are in that sweet spot where reality is still distinguishable from the exaggerated art style, an aesthetic choice that brilliantly reflects the game's quirkiness. No bugs to spoil the party here; instead, these googly-eyed units exist in a solid and stable world where performance stutter is as rare as a straight-faced player.
Customization: Dress Your Wobbly Warriors
Who knew there were so many ways to customize chaos? Players can craft their very own wobbly combatants, tailor-make their zany battles, and even build new battlefields for their googly-eyed gladiators. Whether you're fondly naming your units after obscure historical figures or pop culture icons, or simply enjoying the spectacle as the ice giants decide to get intimate, you're in for one of those 'I don't know what I'm doing but I'm loving it' experiences. The sheer versatility in customization is like being given a box of LEGOs but the instructions are just a picture of a dragon and a shrug – it's confusing, but the power is intoxicating.
STEAM RATING
Developer & Publisher
Landfall
Release Date
April 01, 2021
The Verdict
Absolutely wacky, wonderfully strategic, and a touch nonsensical, 'Totally Accurate Battle Simulator' hits the sweet spot for gamers looking for something refreshingly different. It's not just a game; it's a riotous simulation playground – and a testament to the joys of indie game innovation. If laughter is the best medicine, then this game is the wobbling pharmacy – and it is open for business!
